Monday, February 27, 2012

A Tale of Three Aprons.

A while back a couple of my favorite friends took me to lunch for my birthday....never mind that my birthday was in August.  That's how we do things.  We're busy girls.  Anyhow, Tory gave me this sa-weet apron.  I loved it so much that I put it on as soon as I got home.

I wasn't cooking with my apron, I was painting my buffet at the time....you may have heard about it here.  I know, painting with this fine apron was not one of my best choices.  But, that's how I roll.
While painting, the door bell rang so I asked Quinn to answer the door (big mistake).  He was happy to do it.  I swear, whenever anyone knocks on our door or ring the door bell, my boys are like Pavlov's dog and they run to the door like fools because they can't get the door opened fast enough.  There just may be a friend at the other side.  Forget about the Boogie Man or worse, a salesman, the door must be opened!!  When Quinn opened the door, we were met with two women.  Two women who I didn't know.

And (here's the kicker), they both were wearing aprons!  Not as cute as mine but rather an industrious, sturdy, and workhorse type of style.  Think Pier One versus Home Depot, that will get you where you need to visually be.

Let me paint another picture for you; I'm standing in my living room, wearing an apron, holding a paint brush while being surrounded by my project and there are two strangers at my door also in aprons.  Weird.



They started out by handing me a flyer with words on it like, non-profit, canned food donation, etc., while  asking me questions like, "Does anyone in your house like salad?" to which I replied, "Yes."

"How many people are in your family?"

"Six."

"All we need is a large bowl and we'll make up a salad for you.  We're in your neighborhood teaching homeowners how to make delicious and nutritious meals."

I was so confused.  Were they going to make a salad for us and then request a donation of canned food items in return?  I asked, "Where do you make the salad?"

"In your kitchen.  Is that okay?  Or, we could just make it in our van."

Are you kidding me?  "I guess you can make it in my kitchen."  What?

Here's the thing, I was caught unawares.  I was completely thrown off by the unity of our aprons.  On some strange level I felt connected....by our apron ties.  Next thing I knew, we were all in my kitchen where the ladies assembled a heavy, stainless steel salad shooter type of device, on my counter.

"Don't worry, this one isn't for sale," the vocal one said.

Ah, so that's it, they're selling that salad making thingy.  I mean, not that one, but one just like it and it doesn't look cheap by any means.  I literally had to be somewhere in 5 minutes as I made them aware.  "This just takes 3 minutes to make.  We'll have you on your way in no time."

So, there I stood, dumbfounded.  How did this happen, I wondered?  How did these ladies end up in my kitchen, making a salad for my family whilst pretending not to be selling anything?  I was a sucker.

Once they were finished with the salad, the vocal one said,

"We'd like to come and teach you and a total of five guests how to make a healthy and nutritious dinner at no cost, we do all the work, with fried chicken, mashed potatoes and ...... (can't remember the last food item...my focus was gone by this point) all for under 600 calories.  When was the last time you had fried chicken for under 600 calories?"

"I don't know but you can't come for at least two weeks.  My work schedule is really crazy and I have no time."  That's what I said out loud but when I was really saying was; you can never come back.  I'm still stunned that you even made it in, in the first place!


"Well, can you give me your phone number and I'll make a note to call you after two weeks time?"

"Sure.  My number is...."  I'm telling you, I was dumbfounded.

So, the good news is this, I have not heard from the apron ladies since that day.  I found out the name of the product they were selling and the starting price, which is around $2,400 dollars.  Insane.  What's the moral of this story?

Just because you wear an apron, it doesn't mean you aren't selling anything.  Don't forget it.

2 comments:

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Chris and Heather said...

The slippers are a nice touch too.