I love my job. For the most part I am very lucky that if I have to work, I get to do what I love, which is labor and delivery. Sometimes, however, like tonight it was tough. Tough because my patient was 37 weeks & 4 days along. She went to her doctor for a check up this a.m. and there was no heart beat. Devastating. She had two prior cesarean sections and her cervix wasn't ready for a delivery so she came in this evening for another section.
It was hard to hear her say, "This isn't fair." "I don't want to go through this and not get a baby." "Can't you just put those heart paddles on her when she's delivered to bring her back to life?" "I just felt her move last night." "This isn't fair." "I just want her to wake up."
When the baby was delivered she was perfect. A head full of beautiful red, curly hair. Small rose bud lips. Sweet chubby cheeks. It most probably was a cord accident. The cord was twisted and twisted. It reminded me of when I was in elementary school and Kristine and I or Lauri and I would face each other, each on a different swing, then run to each other and twist. Couldn't get that scenario out of my mind.
That patient will forever be a part of my life. I'll always remember this day, just as I remember the other deliveries I've been the nurse for which turned out the same way. It never gets any easier. I am so blessed never to have lost a term baby!!