I delivered a baby today with my bare hands. It's not a practice I like to engage in often. This time there was no avoiding it (the delivery) or holding it off. The patient presented in triage, put on her gown & got on the gurney. This was her fourth delivery and the other three, I was informed, went very fast.
Crap. That was my first thought.
"I'm going to check you to see what you're dilated to." Even though I already had a pretty good idea.
She had bypassed admitting so she wasn't even in our computer system yet and technically, she didn't exist, even though I knew she existed. At least I was well aware of her and our current situation.
I checked her and sure enough, "You're complete." (a.k.a. 10 centimeters, ready to deliver)
I quickly called out for help, and then the words came, those words, "The baby's coming."
Crap. That was my second thought.
I quickly tried to get a new set of gloves on but, no time. That baby shot right out onto the bed with the cord around its neck twice and a bunch of meconium (that's baby poo for you laymen).
I had a lot of helpers come rushing in, including a doctor who happened to be close by. That gave me time to wash my hands. Ick. Later, when talking to the patient she informed us that she drove herself to the hospital and she lived 25 minutes away. Can you imagine being next to her in your car at a red light? She nearly had a drive thru delivery! All this happened before 8:00 a.m. Lucky. I love my job.